Humans I love!!!
As the days begin to feel shorter, the weather cools, and darkness descends earlier, we are reminded again how the practice of yoga and meditation is our constant companion through all the cycles of life, all of the seasons, all of the chapters. For some of us, it is one of our longest standing relationships - and certainly one of the most beloved.
Despite that I consider myself a fairly intellectual, logically thinking human, I have been known on occasion to seek out guidance from all sorts of sources - yoga teachers, doctors, therapists, and even psychics (and maybe even once or twice a pet psychic - because I miss Bobo the Boxer so much). I am a huge believer in throwing the kitchen sink at a conundrum, the more information the better, and then use the power of discernment to decide what to take or leave.
In one of these recent sessions a woman I was speaking with about a particular challenge I am moving through (notice I did not stay “stuck in”) said, “You are done with the suffering. Now you just have to go through the pain.”
For me this was a mic drop moment. Because pain in life can be inevitable. Shitty things happen. To deny they are painful, to me, would be a denial of truth. However, the suffering part? That in many ways can be optional. Do my thoughts lead to suffering? Do I linger too long in “this is hard” which makes getting through it harder? Do I cast myself as the victim or the victor?
When I realized that some degree of suffering is optional, I immediately moved towards peace.*
[*footnote: this is very different from what I consider to be cringy fluff that comes from some parts of the wellness community that minimizes real, systemic pain and suffering that comes from living in a world that is set up in a way that automatically gives certain people advantages over others.]
But you know how sometimes life (or the Universe or circumstances or whoever/whatever) wants to be sure you are really hearing the lesson? Like really listening and heeding it?
Case in point…
Recently I was co-leading a retreat with my sublime and incredible friend, Stephanie Crochet. We were at a gorgeous property on the Sea of Cortez side of Baja. I had spent some time swimming with a beloved friend and student (are you reading this gorgeous Kate?). We had shuffled out through the shallow, as any learned ocean goer would, just in case there were any stingray friends. When we came back in we sat in the shallows discussing all things life, and when I stood to leave HOLY MOLY MOTHERFU$CKING SHIT I felt the most searing pain in my foot.
Hello, stingray.
And, hello, yoga practice. I immediately started taking deep breaths as the pain spread and intensified. I was at once astounded and humbled by the intricacies and power of Mother Nature and bowled over by how much one teeny spot on my foot could cause such extraordinary pain. LIKE EXTRAORDINARY PAIN.
And then these words washed over me.
Yes, this is painful. The suffering part is optional.
I didn’t need to go into any “why me” line of thinking (in fact I was so grateful it was me and not one of our students). I didn’t need to scream or cry or freak out. I could have. I mean, I really could have. But I knew it wasn’t going to help. I knew, in that moment, it would only lead to unnecessary, senseless, dramatic suffering.
Please know, I absolutely believe in a good cry and not stuffing any feelings.
But this felt different. It felt, almost, spiritual.
I needed to get still (and my foot into a whole lot of hot water) and breathe. I needed to find the lesson.
So as I took deep breaths and sweet Steph kept bringing me hot water, we took to google, as anyone would whilst on a spiritual quest and found this.
“The spirit animal of a stingray reminds you to keep faith in your abilities, trust your instincts, and follow your inner compass. Everything that you have been working towards is now available to you, so do not hesitate in your pursuit of the next steps. Keep moving forward and stay on track.”
Our practice is transformative when the lessons transcend the mat and support us in all we do. The pain, the incredibly searing pain, of that sting was unavoidable. I could choose to either add to the suffering or not.
I am moving through a part of my life that may include some pain.
But suffering? No. Hard stop no.
I have learned through years of practice, and this fateful afternoon with a sweet and potent messenger embodied in a stingray reinforced what I know to be true. I can do hard things, painful things. Sometimes they are necessary. But I trust myself. I trust my instincts. I trust my path.
So as I breathed through the pain, which eventually dissipated, as pain often does over time, I embraced the moment and the lesson.
“Once in a while you can get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.” Grateful Dead
Big love to you all.