Dearest humans I love,
How ARE you?
Take a beat. Take a breath,
How are you?
I feel as though I am in one of the more important times of my human development right now. I long ago learned the important life lesson to remain teachable. To understand that I most definitely do not know everything. And also that I most definitely can be wrong.
Well, here we go. Time for more learning and unlearning.
I imagine we have all been outraged since the murders (can we please not call them deaths) of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor and George Floyd. This has been a call to action, a “wake up call” some say. But what I have been sitting with is how has it taken me THIS long to be THIS outraged. Upon realizing that Black Americans have been living in fear and that I have been cloaked in my own white privilege and that this hasn’t felt more urgent has humbled me.
Initially, I wholeheartedly believed I was already a white ally.
I studied Black Literature and Black Music in college.
Of course I am an ally. (P.S. Do you hear how lame this is?)
My favorite authors are Black Women. Of course I am an ally.
My great uncle marched with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. during the Civil Rights Movement in the 1960s. Of course I am an ally.
I became a lawyer to give a voice to the voiceless and downtrodden.
Of course I am an ally.
I clicked off a resume in my mind of how that was true - how that had to be true - internships for social justice, clerkships with the ACLU, Homeless Advocacy Project, a career as a public defender, death penalty appellate work, a willingness to stand up for injustice, long standing charitable gifts with The Innocence Project, Delancy Street, the ACLU, Southern Poverty Law to name only a few of many.
Of course I am an ally.
I teach about love and truth and justice.
Of course I am an ally.
But then I listened to powerful Black Women speak about what it truly means to be an ally. It requires me to look at my own racism.
WTF??? My own racism? I am not a racist! This cannot apply to me.
I mean, see list above. I am a good human, trying to be better and to elevate everyone the best I can. Right? One of the good guys.
But then I got quiet and I listened. Not to my own justifications but to Black leaders.
And I am still listening. I am committed to continuing to listen. I am reading. I am following Black leaders, especially Black women leaders, to listen and dismantle some of my own internal systems. How I get to move through the world emboldened and safe a white woman.
How despite all of my advocacy, marching and donating, I live in a world of privilege that rests on the back of the oppression of others.
Hello, jagged pill. Time to swallow.
For me the teaching and practice of yoga is about uncovering truth. Yes, ahimsa, non violence as well, but we have to, we must dig deeper into what that means.
This conversation has only just begun. This is indeed not a moment, it is a movement.
I love you.